


How We Feel

by pandemoniax3



Series: Say A Little Prayer For You [4]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angry John, Dean Has Secrets, Emotional Hurt, F/M, Gen, Homophobic John, Homophobic Language, John Winchester Being an Asshole, M/M, POV Alternating, POV Dean Winchester, POV Mary Winchester, POV Sam Winchester, Protective Mary Winchester, Protective Sam Winchester, Reaction, Supportive Mary, Supportive Sam, mentions of mpreg
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-27
Updated: 2014-08-27
Packaged: 2018-02-15 00:04:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,906
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2208057
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pandemoniax3/pseuds/pandemoniax3
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Part of 'Say A Little Prayer For You' series.<br/>The Winchester's individual reactions to Dean revealing the reason why Castiel had actually left in the first place.</p>
            </blockquote>





	How We Feel

**Author's Note:**

> Filler <3  
> Reactions of Mary, Sam and John POV on Dean sitting them down and telling them why Castiel left.  
> This was fun. It was in the middle of my Dean POV, but... I decided to separate it.  
> Enjoy!

Mary sat there, clenching her jaw shut as tears streamed down her face. She was digging her nails into the palm of her hands to keep from placing a harmful finger on her son as she quietly contemplated what Dean had just told her.

Castiel. Sweet, little Castiel, was _pregnant._ With _her_ grandchild. If she weren’t so pissed with Dean’s drunken behavior and his unwillingness to admit his love for the boy, then she would’ve been jumping for joy at the fact that Dean was going to be a father. But, he was still in high school, and Castiel was still a boy with dreams that took time to get there. And, it almost seems as if Dean snatched those dreams away from him in that instant.

It was no secret that Mary loved Castiel as one of her own. The first time he came over was when Dean was just barely in Kindergarten. Castiel walked up, shy and quiet as he stared down at his feet, arms crossed behind him and fidgeting. He mumbled a greeting and Mary knelt down to look at him, face to face. She smiled wide and adoringly at the dark headed boy and she told him, “Hello, Castiel. You have beautiful eyes, do you know that?” A blush had crept up his chubby little cheeks and he smiled, wide and gummy, and there were blank spaces that at one point held teeth, but it was beyond adorable, making Mary smile even wider.

She pretty much raised him as his own when Castiel’s parents were too busy to look after him. She was indifferent about his parents; Naomi and James Novak were always a little too cold for her. They lacked the loving and caring feel that most parents had, especially parents with multiple children, and now that she knew why Castiel was run out of his home, she just couldn’t help but hate them. If she were in their position, she would’ve loved and supported him.

She remembered one time, when Castiel, Dean, both 8 at the time, and even Sam, 4, had caught the flu; Castiel’s parents had left him home all alone until his siblings came home to look after him. Even when the siblings came home, they just passed him over and went out to do their own thing. It wasn’t until the siblings dropped him off the Winchester’s with a 103 fever that she realized that the Novak family just didn’t care about the youngest. So instead, she raised him as her own and loved him just the same.

She fought tooth and nail alongside, crying along with his pain, and nursing him back to health. When his fever lowered, and his face was less of a rose colour; he smiled at her and she smiled back.

He was hers as much as she was his, and it was the same when she found out about Castiel coming out about his homosexuality; she accepted it. In the back of her mind, she always knew. It was the looks that Castiel aimed towards Dean, a look of adoration and love. It was the blush that coloured his cheeks red whenever Dean smiled at him or whispered something to him. It was the more-than-socially-acceptable distance, or lack thereof, between the two when they stood next to each other. It was the same with Dean, and she always waited for them to finally get their head out of their asses and profess their undying and profound love for each other.

She was furious with Dean for leaving him and abandoning him when he was in a position where he desperately needed help from his best friend. Instead, Dean was a coward and couldn’t find it in himself to man up and accept his responsibilities for his mindless mistakes.

Mary shuddered to herself. It had been about 2 months since Castiel had ran away, so she estimated him to be about 3 and a half months pregnant. He was all alone out there with no one to support him and care for him, and she missed him dearly. She wished that she could hold him again, like when he was a boy, and bury her nose into his hair. She wished that she reached out first and held onto him and gripped him tight in her arms. She wished her little boy, her baby, came back and was safe in her arms.

She sighed, shaking her head as tears flicked off her eyelashes. She was tired, and she wanted to mull over the fact that for the first time in her life, she wanted to hurt her son for being the biggest _idiot_ ever. Blowing out breath, she got up from the table and turned towards the kitchen. She needed a cup of tea before bed. A cup of _strong_ tea, at that.

*******************************************************************

Sam, in the meanwhile, was distraught. He grew up idolizing both Castiel and Dean and he loved Castiel as much as he loved Dean; which is why he hated the Novak family for ruining Castiel’s life. He remembered the night that Cas came over to stay, and how lifeless he had looked with unshed tears resting on red rimmed eyes. Sam’s heart jumped, both in concern and in excitement. Don’t get him wrong, he was definitely concerned as to why Castiel came to their front door, late in the evening with no forewarning, but he was excited when he later found out that Castiel was staying with them indefinitely.

Sam had a lot in common with Castiel when it came to interests and personality. They were competitive in scholarly things, meaning; they wanted to be top in their class. They loved reading books and comparing analyses. They always did their homework together when they could and Sam had always found Castiel’s interest in astronomy to be the most invigorating and inspiring.

_“Reach for the stars,”_ Castiel would say, giggling after at how cliché it would sound. Castiel always said that it applied to him, regardless of what he did, and that he believed in him. Castiel was the second person to find out that he wanted to be a lawyer, after his brother (duh), and he clapped him on the back and smiled. _“I’m proud of you Sam, try hard and if you ever need anything, just let me know.”_

Castiel was also the one who found out about Sam’s undying crush in the 8th grade for the girl next door, who was also in his science class; Jessica Moore. She’s a cute blonde with wavy hair, blue eyes, and a beautiful smile; and she made Sam’s heart beat faster and his palms to get sweaty with anxiety. It was Castiel who hadn’t teased him like his brother had, and encouraged him to express his feelings and to ask Jessica out on a date. She said yes and soon their one year anniversary was coming up. Sam couldn’t help but thank and shower Cas with praise for a whole month after that.

Faithfully, Sam always trusted that Cas would be a support and foundation for him when it came to his future. He watched people ridicule him and mock him for his dreams and for who and _what_ he is, but he never faltered. He watched when Castiel shoved all his troubles and fears to the side and helped Dean with what his problems or what he had his eye on, and he did it without hesitation. It was then and there when Sam realized, Cas was in love with his brother.

Honestly, Sam didn’t mind it, and if anything, he commemorated Castiel for coming out in a close-minded state. Castiel always manages to surprise him, and the biggest surprise was when he began his freshman year, he heard rumours of Castiel Novak dropping out of school. He knew, automatically, it was because of the dick move his brother pulled for knocking up his best friend and leaving him to the wolves. It broke his heart that Castiel Novak, top of his class, sweetest, with too-much-heart, was chased out of his own life.

Silently, Sam looked at his brother and then excused himself from the table. He couldn’t believe that he was going to be an uncle. Because, one, Dean had sex with _Cas_. Um, _ew._ And two, Dean, his own brother and hero, had abandoned his best friend and his baby’s mother. It was a shock, seriously. With that knowledge, Sam got ready for bed. He wasn’t sure of it; but he had the feeling that he might not be able to see Dean in the same light as before.

Surely, surely, Dean had _finally_ found a way to disappoint Sam.

*******************************************************************

Processing the information that he was just told, John sneered at the thought that his son, his _first born_ , was a fairy. The Novak boy was tolerable in the Winchester’s home, but it became unacceptable when he came out to the public. He was never tough enough, and he never liked playing sports or fishing and hunting with him and the boys. He wasn’t aggressive enough and he never took matters into his own hands. And now? John was furious that he took everything that Dean was; he snatched it out of his hands when he forced himself on his son.

John always questioned his son’s friendship with that queer. He always questioned the attachment his wife had to the dark haired boy even when she knew how he felt about his… _choices._ She would just glare at him and curse his name under her breath and ignore him for the most part, but he puffed out his chest knowing he was _right_! He was nothing but a distraction for his family.

He knew that the Novak boy was trouble, and he wanted Dean to put an end to it, but now… now he knew. The boy was placing a claim on his son, to ensure himself that he would never leave him now that he was pregnant. He was proud of his son, that he acknowledged his mistake in sleeping with the boy and kicking him out of his life. He was disgusted in the fact that he performed the act in the first place.

John knew, as soon as Dean told the story, he was protecting the _faggot._ It was a residual attachment from their early days of friendship that made him twist the story into making people believe that it was his fault. Dean has too many… _feelings_ for him to think straight; the Novak boy was wrong.

Dean will see. The whole family will see that he was right about the Novak. They’ll see that he was just _using_ them. They’ll see that John was only trying to _protect_ his family by severing his attachment to the boy. Dean will see how much of a mistake it was to be attached to the boy and that the only redeeming factor was that Dean, in all his glorious stupidity, let him go.

Shaking his head, he lifted himself silently, looking down and frowning at his son as he stared at his hands on the table, he turned and walked up to his room where he changed and got ready for bed. That night, he tossed and turned, unwilling to accept the fact that his son got another boy pregnant, and that he was going to be a grandfather to an abomination.

*******************************************************************

 

**Author's Note:**

> Enjoyed it? Thanks, I did, too.  
> It was just a short thing I cooked up.  
> Dean's POV is still coming; been busy running around everywhere and school started yesterday.  
> So, yeah. I hope you like it. Please be patient with me, thank you; I love you. <3  
> Anyways, yeah. Kudos/Comments are much appreciated. <3  
> Peace and Love, Bitches!


End file.
